The Heart Break Kid (working title)

Chapter 1

The road was long. The sun beating down on the concrete didn't help matters. Beads of sweat trickled down his brow even as he watched the cars, buses and other vehicles speed past.

He was walking alone in his own thoughts... Dangerous ones as he contemplated whether to take it or leave it... Revenge that is. But it was all complicated. It wasn't ideally revenge in the first place. He was ready to face the consequences of his actions be it death. But then another thought stuck him so what if he was ready to part with the world any day. Would the other person be ready? Wouldn't that person want more out of life than he ever did? He could still feel the Adam’s apple of his friend bobbing up and down when he had thoughts of crushing it. He was that close when he decided against it. All because they were pulling each other’s legs and the guy had commented on something that he didn’t like. But it was all forgotten and they were still good friends. This was more done in zest and only he knew how close he had been to crushing his friend’s windpipe. We all have the Hulk buried deep down under somewhere and every now and then he just surfaces to tell you that he still exists.

This had always been his Achilles heel. Too much thought into things. He had always been a good boy since childhood so much so that everybody liked him much. But what's it to be liked when u ain't loved?

He decided that like all good things, this too needs to come to an end. He decided to be bad. But try as he may, he couldn't come to terms with being bad.

He knew that there were people who knew what he was talking about and questions would be asked. Did he care???

But this was not the time to think of these things. The states that he was in, a supposed annual ritual which he carried out required him to curb any thoughts of lust, anger, and emotion and only entertain thoughts of God. He had last done this 3 years back, but this time it was different, He wasn’t able to concentrate and his mind kept pulling him in different directions all the time. It was then with great difficulty that he cleared his mind of all scandalous thoughts and deeds to ensure a monk like stability before forgetting about all those thoughts. However the purpose of his visit was clear – He wanted to stand before the all-knowing one asking questions as to why his prayers of the last time went unanswered. As a matter of fact all his prayers had vanished in thin air by the time of this visit. He was losing faith by the day, by the hour. A devote was turning into an atheist. 

His life was like an open book which could easily be pieced together if one met his friends, colleagues and family. There were no skeletons hidden in the closet or any enemies lurking in the shadows. If at all he had one, then he was the one whom he met every day of his living life. Just when he would be getting dressed to go to office and stand in front of the mirror, his worst enemy would show a glimpse of himself before merging in the shadows…A tall guy with a slight paunch hidden well underneath his shirt and balding head wearing the exact clothing as he was and breathing the same air that he breathed, He knew exactly the one hurdle to his dreams – himself.

Chapter 2

The campaign was all wrong. From the very beginning he could feel that the approach to the campaign was incorrect and every time he tried to right it, it became even more muddled. He had no one to blame but himself since he was making all the decisions.  Part of the decision making also hinged on the fact that he was not getting any younger. Now closer to the wrong end of the thirties, there was pressure from all sides on him to get married and settle down. His parents had been searching for a bride since the past 6 years. He lost his father in the middle but that did not slow down the process. And now after 6 years and having met 2-3 girls there was nothing to show for the efforts. Deep down, he knew that this would never work. No matter how much others would try, it is difficult for something to happen if the person does not put his heart and soul into it. In this case, he had already lost it to someone else. So there was no question of any other. But if anything came along, he would surely shoulder the responsibility. He was never the kind to shy away from responsibilities. If anything, he was always game to take on responsibilities and perform to the best of his abilities.

It was the same attitude and approach that he adopted in his work. Always game to take on more work, he would relish the fact that he was the last to leave the office and would want to immerse himself in work. It was his getaway and a perfect one at that. He never cared about timings, holidays or anything else. Nothing deterred him from reaching his office in time be it floods or curfews or any bandhs. He liked to be in the thick of action and endure the pressure that came out of adhering to strict deadlines and involved a high degree of skill and accuracy. However, at this moment, after nearly 13 years, he was at cross roads. All this while, when he worked, he never cared about his remuneration nor his standing in his job. But now things had changed and he felt short-changed. The world had flown past him and he seemed to be stuck in a time warp. All his close friends the ones from school, college, his colleagues, everyone was well settled and doing well. Though he felt good that they were all living good lives, this was his moment of reckoning whence he found out that he earned nearly half of what she earned. This would surely be a hindrance if at all it ever came to the crunch and he wanted to change all that. Any window of opportunity that he may get, he wanted to capitalise….   

PIRACY: Scourge or Windfall for the modern society

Let me begin by wishing you all a Merry Xmas and looking forward to a Happy New Year 2010. I would also like to apologise for my long absence due to various personal and technical factors.

However today I am going to touch a topic which is very close to my heart. The contents of this blog may sound pretty offending rather the ideas expressed may seem real crazy at times but this is my space and I being a free countryman have the right to express my views.

How do we buy vegetables? Especially in today’s world where prices have gone through the roof and people everywhere are crying recession (though nobody has actually seen one) and moaning the loss of jobs. Go to the hotels on any given day and you would understand the meaning of the term recession!!!! The answer to this question is very important from the point of view of the subject on which I am going to delve into and plunge headlong with my theory and cast my vote on.

Coming back to my question, these days I may get answers which may range from buying from the supermarket, shopping online – the latest fad these days and everything else. I am talking about the middle class consumer who till date is unaffected by the mall culture and still visits the neighbourhood bhajiwalla and buys his vegetables. He visits a few shops searching for the vegetable of his choice, makes a mental note of the prices, compares the quality in certain cases and finally buys from the vendor who as per the consumer is able to strike the right chord between quality and price. In case the goods on display are for some reason or the other not to his liking either due to any of the two aspects mentioned above, the consumer more often than not buys a substitute or reserves the purchase for a later date. He may buy the required vegetable at the given price on only a day when it is of utmost importance to him.

In this economy, we can see the following variables: buyer (many), seller (too few), goods (quality) and price (too high, too low or just right). This obviously means that the customer has the choice to pick up the goods he wants at his price.

Now what is PIRACY? A classic example of Piracy is well documented by the film industry on which I would like to base my theory on. In this case, everyone from the actors, producers and directors cry out that Piracy is the one thing leading to a loss in business and income for them. Though they may never be able to gather evidence to make their point. I got the following definitions for Piracy on the net other than the obvious and correct one of “hijacking on the high seas”

Piracy is the unauthorized duplication of an original recording for commercial gain without the consent of the rights owner.
Piracy is a theft of intellectual property - in other words, stealing what does not belong to you.

In order to understand Piracy, one must strive to understand the reasons behind Piracy. What is presently happening in the film industry? Movies on which hundreds of crores of rupees are spent are released in select theatres at high costs to retain the uniqueness and the thrill of the movie so that it may draw more crowds. To the despair of the producers and directors, the movie is in most case available on the net or in other electronic forms at a fraction of the price (many a times free of cost) within 24 hours of the release of the film or in certain cases even before the release of the movie. This is being attributed to a rise in leakage of prints which are being sent for overseas viewing especially the Middle East countries where such leaks occur with amazing regularity due to low or no security.

However all those people screaming at the top of their voice about piracy may do well to go back in time a few decades when there were much more meaningful movies being made and actors and actresses were treated as normal human being rather than stars. These were the days of VCRs and VHS’s and this era was when movies were made for the masses rather than for the classes as is the case nowadays. These movies were showcased at most theatres at prices which were affordable by what one calls R.K Laxman’s common man. Most people especially mill workers and other daily wage earners saved for this day at the end of the week when they would come out with their large families (no nuclear families at that time) and enjoy some much needed family time and go back refreshed. Also if you wanted to watch the movie in the comforts of your home, a copy of the same used to be available at innumerable video parlours near your house. It is important to note that inspite of all this, the same producers, directors and actors made profit and name and fame.

What then has changed from that day to this date? What has changed are values. It is these very values which make men run after money trying to beat ten others in the process. Time was when actors and actresses were placed on a pedestal basis their name, fame and their acting skills. Spare a thought for the present day actors whose photos grace newspapers almost on a daily basis on topics ranging from payment of taxes to price paid for a film or the attendance at a premier party. These are people who have the entire ocean in front of them when only a handful is enough for generations. However they are never satisfied till they conquer the oceans, high seas and will stop at nothing till there remains nothing worth conquering.
And what happened to the common man on the street? He finds it difficult to buy tickets to the movie since it is pricey. The movie theatre where the movie is run is miles away from his home. He does not even have the luxury of watching it in the confines of his home along with his loved ones. Out comes RobinHood who provides the same pleasure at a fraction of the cost & no additional burden. He makes copies of the movies, uploads it onto free sites for the common man to download, and makes duplicate copies which are sold at every other shop selling CDs. The common man is ecstatic. He can rejoice. He can finally watch the latest movie in the confines of his home on his PC or Home theatre at his convienience. If this is termed Piracy so be it.

As regards the definitions of Piracy, So far as the unauthorized duplication for commercial gain is concerned, it is definite that the commercial gain is many times lesser than what is extracted by the original owner. This in itself is like traveling in the same plane except for one being in an economy class and another in the business class.
No Idea is one man’s own intellectual property. Every man dreams of things that are put by another into action. This may be because of the original dreamer’s inactiveness or lack of resources or pursuit of a totally different goal. Also almost 80% of the movies produced today are either remakes or copies of the original from other languages!!!! Talk of originality.

I would like a healthy discussion on this topic from all members since I do sincerely believe that Piracy is only a façade by the people involved to extract more money than the value of the product dished out by them. Also most people have pretty definite views on the subject. So Repondez Vous!!!!

IPL - Inter Personal League

As we near the end of the first round of the IPL, there are some things that seem to be pretty evident. IPL the concept has really taken off to a flier and there may be very few people who when quizzed will not have a favorite or not know about the game. This format of the game has been so interesting and so beautifully packaged that even the womenfolk who generally stay away from sports related activities on air have started tuning their TV sets in the evening to SET MAX, the official broadcaster much to the chagrin of the various channels who air
Saas-Bahu serials at the same time.

However back to business and we see a definite pattern emerging
1. The Captains and their teams: The teams have been chosen as per the captainsare. Few good examples can be given like that of the Kolkatta Knight Riders who have got Sourav Ganguly, Ricky Ponting and Shoaib Akhtar in their ranks. The common thread that binds these three persons are their personalities and their flair for controversy. Then we have the Bangalore Royal Challengers who have Rahul Dravid, Jacques Kallis, Wasim Jaffer and Shivnaraine Chaderpaul. All these individuals are more known for their Test match accomplishments than their one day feats and definitely not their T20 careers.

2. Camaraderie: What the IPL has done is bring in players of different cultures and regions together and help bind them for the common cause of defeating their opponents which may have players from their on national teams. So it really is nice to see a Mohd. Hafeez getting advice from Saurav Ganguly or a Shoaib Malik helping out Virender Sehwag. It is also a good learning ground for the scores of youngsters who will be immensely benefited from their experience in the IPL. Hence it is good to hear that Glenn McGrath spends time with each and every bowler explaining the various nuances of the game in spite of them being from various different countries. These games also help people iron out their flaws and think about the game differently. There may be players against whom they have played a lot against & who when they come together discuss each others strategies of getting the other out. The cat may be out of the bag and help both players immensely in the rest of their careers.
However there always remains a fear of the SLAPGATE happening and it may also happen in other teams. Players when they go back may not like a player from their own team just because he was instrumental in his team winning against the formers team and vice versa. This is something that can happen and it can ruin careers. Also with the amount of money surrounding the game, players cannot simply ignore such indiscretions. This is one aspect of the game that the ICC needs to take care of. Player fallout will have a disastrous effect on the game and the game may come down to being a wrestling match brawl.

3. Old v/s New: And last but not the least, one look at the points table and it throws something that may not be visible to the naked eye but seems kind of logical. The teams that are languishing at the bottom of the table viz. Kolkatta, Mumbai, Bangalore and Hyderabad are captained by Sourav Ganguly, Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid & VVS Laxman respectively. All these players are either at the twilight of their careers or have their careers ended prematurely mainly due to Dhoni’s Devils. So it doesn’t come as a surprise that the teams commanded by these players are at the bottom pile. Whether they will rise like the Phoenix, from the ashes, given their experience will be something to watch.

Happy watching!!!!

A Relationship called LOVE!!!!!!

Love makes life live said someone!! Somewhere here I am trying to decipher and decode the exact meaning of the phrase and yes before people reach to any conclusion on what kind of love that I am talking about, let me clear the air. The Love that will be described and torn apart in the coming paragraphs is the one that makes two adults go “I Do” at the altar. This article about the whys of two adults having nothing in common until they meet each other and discover a whole new world – together

The very reason for undertaking this exercise is my own experience at this peculiar feeling which is known as LOVE the world over. I am 25 and by the time this article is published, I will be a year older. I have had many crushes in the formative years of my childhood and have been seriously interested only once or may be thrice. However these just fizzled out because I am the type of guy who lets things like love take their own way rather than forcing myself on it. This is what led me to ponder as to what makes people tick? This article may have a subcontinental flavour to it due to the fact that I am quoting examples from that up and coming land called India of which I am a proud citizen. Its then that I have tried to get into the “What of Love” and to say that I got satisfactory answers in my quest will be best based on the analysis of the cases presented here and the readers own judgement. I believe that Love is an important part of any relationship and is one of the pillars other than trust and loyalty on which the tree of mankind stands. In this regard, I have had certain observations to make and will tell you real life incidents of which I have been witness to or been a silent spectator of.

Case I – A young man whom we all knew of as a studious and very intelligient person who normally kept to self and incapable of doing no wrong along-with being protective of a blind father and an illiterate mother shocks everyone by proclaiming marriage to a young lady whom he met at his workplace

Case II – A young man who is given all freedom in the house and is an intelligient fellow does well in his education, completes his Masters in Business Adminisration where he falls in love, joins a high profile company complete with a good salary and perks. Then he confides about his desire to marry his lady love.

Case III – A young lady born and brought up in a liberal family has had many affairs by the time she reaches woman hood and goes on and marries a person whom she met at the workplace.

Case IV – A young man who has both parents who go off to work leaving him and his younger brother alone meets his lady love in college and they tie the knot. The lady in question in this case was junior to him in college and lived in the same complex as him

These are the samples that I have delved upon and arrived at certain conclusions after making careful observations. These are real life stories with the proverbial “& they lived happily ever after” theme ringing true.

The following observations were found to be true in each one of the cases mentioned above.

Ability to take decisions: In all of the cases mentioned above, the individuals involved have had to take/make decisions at a very early point in life. Be it the guy in case I where he was thrust the responsibility of being the head of the household or in cases II,III or IV where the individuals were required to take decisions due to the fact that there was very little parental assistance involved. It may be inferred that people love persons who make their own decisions without getting influenced by other factors especially those which are emotional in nature.

Self-Confidence: All the characters mentioned herein have amazing confidence about themselves. It may have been the result of their minds not being clogged by parents constantly advising about what is good and what is bad, When should one call the stops, What should one do and the likes. As a result of these a person goes into a mental state of being wherein he prepares a checklist before making any decision and ensures that the checklist is strictly adhered to. This process ensures that such a person arrives at a decision, which may be right or wrong, much later than those who go by the gut instinct. Also many a times such decisions may seem to be erring on the side of caution so as to ensure that one is always on the right side of the universe whereas confident people may go ahead with a decision that may seem to bewilder many but get positive results. For these people there is the inner belief that they can do no wrong because they do not distinguish between right and wrong and also believe that they can always survive any bad effects that their decision may entail. This leads to the making of a very self confident individual who also appears to be confident with an ever warm smile that pleases most people and charms the toughest of ladies.

Unfettered Lifestyle: Due to the minimal parental objection in their lives, these people live life to the fullest. They work hard, make loads of money, party harder and are always enthusiastic and positive about life. These are people who want to live lives that are worth meaning to them rather than sulking around, thinking about others or about decisions that may have far reaching consequences. That’s the reason why, when one comes across such persons, one feels quite positive and they are like a whiff of fresh air that has invaded your senses carrying you along with it.

Here I would like to rest my case wherein I have always been smitten by some one or the other. However when the time comes to make a choice, it’s always about making them a part of my life rather than colonizing them. So my mind starts throwing up questions like Would she fit the bill, Will my parents approve of her, How would the elders react about the match, What mother tongue will the children adopt and so on till the mind is left totally confused. What finally emerges is a chaotic situation. If not that then by the time I make up my mind, the lady is already been taken!!!! . So friends I think I have unraveled the human mindset about love to a great extent and its physiological aspects. And for those who try desperately to fall in love but don’t, here come the reasons!!!

60 Years of Indian Independence

Today, on the 60th anniversary of Indian Independence, I was witness to a speech by a senior member about the achievements & the peaks that India has scaled in these years. We had a look into the literacy situation, the per capita income of the country, the cost of living, India’s defence expenditure et all among other things.

Though India has progressed through the times, it seemed to be a myopic view of the situation. Statistics as they say reveal more than wot they hide. For instance, when we touched the topic of India’s earning power, we started it off thus “In 1947 an average Indian earned Rs. 400.00 as monthly wages whereas the same Indian earns an average of Rs.22000.00 per month” When it came to literacy, we were 14% literate in 1947 whereas the same stands at 67% today. This rate they say was more guided by the woman populace of the country rather than the menfolk. Now for the other side of the story left untold. We can always agree that the rise in income of the average Indian is a great improvement. However that is a sign of the times. I still vividly remember my parents telling me that a dozen bananas cost 0.75 Ps in those times. Cut to today’s scenario, the friendly, neighborly shopkeeper wont even allow a sneak peak of the banana’s for that amount. If 67 out of every 100 Indians are supposed to be literate, then I can challenge you that out of the first 100 people you meet on the street, atleast 50% of them will be illiterate as far as international norms of literacy go. Blame it on the definition for literacy in India that says that if a person is able to write his name on a piece of paper, he is deemed literate!!!

That exactly explains my point. Just because we are seeing the rosier side of the picture, the tabloids give us a progressive outlook of the country, it does not mean that India is untouched by disease, malaise and other evils that tend to percolate the country & make it hollow inside out. Though we say that women are spearheading the literacy movement, the crimes committed against women in this country are rising at an alarming rate. We say that the Infant Mortality rate ha reduced. However that data can be confined & verified in case of hospitals only. If some one were to read the newspapers in the run up to this month, ones hearts would be filled with so much anger and desperation over the fact that so many babies (atleast one such incident per day) were either killed or abandoned by city folk at various places in the city. If this is the condition of Mumbai, I dread to even contemplate the situation in the other states. We see so many people many of them children below the age of 10 begging at various street corners, at railway stations, at traffic lights some of those with an even smaller sibling strapped to their backs and yet we are brave enough to come up with a literacy figure of 67%, a per capita income of Rs.22000.00 per month. This obviously leads us to the conclusion that these unfortunate ones were never considered when the data was collected for such studies which in turn leads us to believe that these studies were carried out with a view of portraying a progressive picture.

On this day, we as Indians need to brush aside our achievements since what has happened is the past and look towards the future & plan it in such a manner that it will be a beacon for the future generations to follow. We need to take the so called achievements in our stride no doubt but the goal should be achieved keeping in mind the obstacles that lay on our path rather than riding a wave of false confidence created by society. We have to strive for an India that is poverty free, where every child receives education enough to make it stand on his own feet & think clearly, where mothers do not end up making the wrong choices and start taking things in their stride and ride out situations that others may deem impossible.

Its time for a SILENT REVOLUTION!!!!!!!

Love Lost - II

I know tht I have been a very lazy blogger and tht can be seen from the time lag between my last post & this. However I can only find solace in the excuse that I have been kept pretty busy during these times mainly due to my work. Even Today I have found the luxury to write due to a sprained, stiff neck which has made me leave office pretty early.

Continuing from where we left off, I always fancied meeting her & pouring my heart out. But somehow, I always got the jitters when I found her close to me (not the closeness of love!!) As a result I thought about doing the next best thing – Speak to one of her close confidantes who by chance had a crush on one of my colleagues and hence maintained friendly relations. I confided in her & told her the whole story. Fact of the matter is I went to the extent of asking her to ask my Sweetheart whether she loved me & wud like to spend the rest of her life with me together!!!!!!!!! Guess tht was kinda Make or Break question tht was not to be put to someone who knew nothing much abt U & who cared less to do so!!!. But finally I heard tht the answer was No Still persistent that I am, I kept pursuing her. Every moment tht I cud feast my eyes on her were spent accordingly.

Since this was love at the workplace, there had to be somthin related to the workplace tht wud stop me abruptly in my quest. This came in the form of Ratings – The Number game which every boss played with his subordinates to show who was greater when it came to making the decision. As luck wud have it, My SH was given the lowest rank of all for no fault of hers!!! Finally on August 28th 2005, I bid adieu to her. She is now employed with another company carrying on the same business as we are!!. May she marry a gr8 guy. One thing is 4 sure. Whomsoever she marries is gonna have his hands full for the rest of his life.

As for me!!! I am still searching ……….
But she refuses to go away from my mind!!!!!!

Love Lost .....

I still remember this day 3 years ago. Some memories remain as fresh as ever. Coz this was the day when I met a woman who I really hoped would change my life forever. Till this day I was your normal kinda guy a shy one at tht not much of a talker to ladies & an obedient boy to his parents one who liked to be at home in cse he was not occupied with anything else!!!!. ON tht faithful day, I was at office havin my lunch in the office canteen & I see this beautiful maiden sashayin down the lane dressed in a beautiful Kanjeevaram (or wotever they call it) saree since the occasion so demanded. Twas New year Day for all Mallus & us types i.e. Palakkad Iyers or TamBram as they call us. I don’t believe in celebrating all such days & occasions. Hell I don’t believe in celebratin my birthday!!!.

Till tht day I had always planned on living life as a bachelor. Dunno why but the idea of being single (also add alone!!!!) always appealed to me. I wud always long for days when my parents would go out on their daily shoppin & I get some time for myself alone. But this day, my decision changed & it remained so for a long period. Just like the skeptic appears daunted by hardcore evidence challenging his version of the story, I was forced to change my decision tht very instant & decided tht If I wud marry, I wud marry this woman. Mebbe the pull towards her was strong coz I could see all the characters in her tht I wanted in my wife!!!

Thn began the quest for the Holy Grail!!! I started gathering as much information abt her as possible. I am tht kinda man who always thrives on information however trivial tht maybe!!!! Cos I kno these wud always be of use somewhere. I collected details abt where she lived, wot she liked, How she was like, Her family background … & the like. Then there were always chance meetings when we wud come face to face & I wud have a smiling face & her face wud be like can be best explained like a fiery dragon which if it wanted wud engulf everything on its path. I kinda liked tht attitude of hers. This went on for months & I kind of also got to know her Birth date!!!. I sent her an email wishing her a Happy Birthday but was a touch disappointed when I received a “DELETED WITHOUT BEING READ” message (I still keep read receipts in all my emails!!!). But I never stopped tryin. I guess my only fault was tht I cudnt speak to her one to one man to man till the very end. But again no regrets for tht since even I am a kind of person who will surely pursue something till the finish But if I see tht it may not get over when I want it to, I let go. Talk abt the Arian quality of not seeing things till the very end & tht suits me perfectly.

& So it went on। Previously she used to sit at another place since our depts. Were different & the best part of the story is tht Both our Departments were at loggerheads wth each other!!. However as luck wud have it due to space constraint, her dept is one tht performs a very essential function in any financial institution to succeed, She shifted to a cabin next to our dept!!!. This enabled me to watch her closely & I tried to catch her gaze often. But my cool eyes were always met with the dragons red eyes & even my friends feared the same.

........ To be Cont'd